Weighing Setting Precedence

Sometimes your hearts desire to help someone can turn into you shaking your head, distraught, used and abused, and wondering how did I get duped?  You may have set out to do the right thing, to help someone while the recipient has set out to take advantage. You thought you covered all the angles, but then you find yourself saying, if I could do it all over I would do things differently. You continuously shake your head in dismay and say how did I let this happen? 

This feeling is not about regret because your intentions were in the right place, and I don't believe you should ever regret trying to be helpful.  It is more about realizing you went about things the wrong way. Many times this may simply be because you didn't have a plan to start out with.   You never focused on the order of things. You didn't begin with Setting Precedence.

What does it mean to Set Precedence? I love the very first definition of Set in dictionary.com which is to put (something or someone) in a particular place. Furthermore, the initial definition of Precede to go before, as in place, order, rank, importance or time, which you must do when Setting Precedence. 

What does the collaboration of these words mean to me? It means that when you Set Precedence within your life you are acknowledging that you have the ability to set up your life. You create the order of importance. If you can Set the Precedence, then it is you who must own the first ranking. You are the primary and everything else is secondary. The best way to help someone is by maintaining your position to be able to help.

If we begin to think of ourselves first we will also realize what might not be in our best interest.  How will this affect me? If I don't like it, well then maybe it is time to make some adjustments. Another definition of Set  used mostly in the theater, is to arrange the scenery.  If we are the directors of our very own reality show then it is true that we can also control the scenery.  If something is out of place fix it, if something is causing your scenery to become unattractive eliminate it.

Clearly stating what you are offering is also helpful. You may offer someone your last hot dog off your plate, and the next thing you know they have your fries and your drink as well.  Guess what, now you don't have lunch.  It is okay to sacrifice sometimes, but remember you also have to eat. To avoid this, make sure to demonstrate your Set Precedence clearly, be it by voice, in an email whichever way you can communicate your plan.  To Precede has an additional meaning which is to introduce by something preliminary.  A simple statement like, "I can help and here's how I can do it..." state clearly what you are offering so there is no confusion at a later date. 

Many people may talk behind your back when you do this, they may say "He/She didn't really want to help. They named set stipulations before helping me." These are most likely the ones who have their own "goals" in mind.  A good example of this would be people who prefer to offer a homeless person food instead of money. I have personally witnessed a beggar stating they are hungry only to deny a fresh apple or sandwich, which can lead one to believe they were begging  for reasons other than hunger.

I am drawn to helping others. However, sadly I have experienced lending a helping hand which some how led to my arms, legs and neck as well. To avoid being eaten alive, I suggest Setting Precedence. It's Important.

Weighing Setting Precedence
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 800 lbs Important

Weighing The Duchess

Last weekend I was at home on a Sunday night I was in the mood for a real movie, what I mean by that is one that I could stick my teeth in.  A story that would create great thought and intrigue and allow input in my assessments of life.  Sometimes when you look, you get exactly what you are looking for, I came across The Duchess.

The actors I recognized right away were Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes, so I immediately knew the movie would be well acted.  The paragraph describing the movie on Verizon Demand stated: A chronicle of the life of 18th century aristocrat Georgiana Duchess of Devonshire, who was reviled for her extravagant political and personal life.

Though the description implied that the story would be tragic, I proceeded to watch through the eyes of a person who has watched a million plus Hollywood movies where they were able to spin even biographies with tragic endings so that the life lived satisfied the end.

This was the wrong perception to have for this movie, because as the story unfolded and I viewed The Duchess being placed in the hands of man she didn't love and didn't love her, as I observed her effort to provide her husband with a male heir all the while her husband bedded various women he came across with the physique he truly desired, and as I solemnly took in her awakening of true love only to curve it whilst remaining in a loveless marriage for her children...the time ticked by and I began to realize there would be no redemption to this story.

However in hindsight I have come to realize there has been redemption and there can continue to be redemption for The Duchess and those who share a similar story.  When we as women take hold of our new found strength to maneuver, freedom of choice and voice to state what we want and need and place these yearnings into fruition and finally the option to not back ourselves into a life not wanted.  To keep the redemption going we can also raise beautiful women to do the same and encourage our friends and every other woman walking this earth to do the same.

Though this movie as a whole will always remain imprinted in my mind, there was one moment that stood out the most.  The Duchess was wearing one of her extravagant attires on the night of their wedding.  As he quietly undressed her without permission or warning, he commented, "For the life of  me, I can never understand why women's clothes need to be so damn complicated?" The Duchess responded though his comment might have been rhetorical, "Its our way of expressing ourselves I suppose."  Of course he did not understand this and asked, "Whatever do you mean?" She answered, "Well you have so many ways of expressing yourselves, whereas we have to make do with our hats and our dresses."

Well women of the world we still have our hats and our dresses but we have so much more available to us. This August marked the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. constitution which granted women the right to vote nationwide.  Progression was not so long ago, and it's up to us to continually use everything we have to make our marks and live our lives to the fullest.  Let us not forget where we came from because it helps to steer us in the direction of where we are going.

In weighing The Duchess, I give it 600lbs, though very depressing as I left out a lot which may cause you to repel. I still would say at least one view is most definitely a good decision and may help to serve as a constant reminder of how precious the liberties we have today would have been to a woman of the past.

Weighing The Duchess
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 600 lbs Good Decision

Weighing Choices

In a world of change, discovery and extreme variety we as humans come across Choices on a daily basis. Simple choices like what to eat, what to wear or maybe what to watch on television on a given night. Life changing choices such as where to live, who to love, or the choice of occupation. Let me back up here because sometimes your choice on what to eat, wear or watch on television at night can become life changing depending on your given situation.

But this entry is more about the most common life changing choices that we come across. A Choice is defined in dictionary.com as an act or instance of choosing, the right, power, opportunity to choose; the option.  If you have ever felt down, perhaps helpless did you use your right, power or opportunity to choose a different scenario for yourself? Have you realized you have the option to do so?

A choice is also defined as an alternative, an abundance of variety from which to choose. Speaking from my own experiences I believe sometimes variety can be scary, sometimes the alternative is not as good as what you have been doing. But that is all fine and dandy as long as the status quo satisfies you, and if not well maybe its time to shop around.

A choice is also something that is preferred or preferable to others; the best part of something. If you're lucky to find your preference at your first job or living where you grew up; I say great for you. But if not, don't be afraid to find out if you have the preferred, the best for you, by moving to a new location, trying a new hobby,  or perhaps start with spaghetti with three cheeses instead of just the one.

I believe the most important definitions of Choice are; a carefully selected supply, worthy of being chosen, carefully selected. If I learned anything about choices, it is that each one you make there is always another side, a choice not chosen. When we dwell on the choices we didn't make it can often lead to regret. However if we make careful selections and make a point to remember the reasons for the chosen you may realize that you have made the right choice.

Choices have a weight of about 800 lbs because they are important but are not the priority. I believe enjoying the choices you make, learning from them, and preparing for the next choices are the priorities in life.

Weighing Choices
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 800 lbs Important

Weighing Consideration

Lately I have been thinking about what makes a relationship work? There are all the ordinary answers love, respect, trust and the list goes on.  Of course these answers are all true, and are undeniable.  However, I always felt as though there might be one key answer, one answer that would link all the others.  For me that answer is Consideration.

Consideration defined in dictionary.com as careful thought; meditation; deliberation, something that is or is to be kept in mind in making a decision, thoughtful or sympathetic regard or respect; thoughtfulness for others, as well as a thought or reflection to name a few.

Imagine that, imagine how simple life would be if you considered your mate and your mate considered you.  Think about the arguments that could be avoided, the mistakes that could be sidetracked.  It is usually when I have skipped the necessary step which is to think about the next person that I create an error in judgement.

Have you really listened to your partner lately? In your last decision did you factor him/her in? Or are you on cruise control? I like that, because cruise control is a quick way to fall asleep and get into an accident.

Another quick definition of consideration is estimation; esteem.  Do you hold your partner in great esteem? That also goes a long way.  I notice that when someone is held in great esteem, people will tend to do a little extra for them.  A great example of this is when the President comes to town, the town will close their streets, create welcoming signs, prepare a speech.  What do you do for your significant other when they're around to show them their worth?

Consideration is also defined as a recompense or payment, as for work done; compensation.  A job well done should never be ignored in a relationship, whether it happens all the time or its a once in a blue occurrence.  Reward the good times, the good deeds and most likely they will continue.

I strongly encourage you to try consideration, even in the smallest of things, practice it daily with everyone you meet. I bet you will see life in a new light.  And hopefully maybe you can encourage others to do the same. Consideration is definitely weighed in as 1 Ton a complete priority.

Weighing Consideration 
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 1 Ton Priority

Weighing the phrase “I’m trying to…”

When I was a kid, I would often hear, “I”m going to be…, I want to be…” As I grew into young adulthood, it changed to, “I’m in school for…, I”m working towards…, this is my first step to becoming a…”  Now as I begin to reach my third decade in life, the phrase “I’m trying to…” has reached an all time high. So of course I had to define the word Trying.

As I pulled up one of my favorite sites, dictionary.com and typed in the word Trying, the first definition that appeared was, “extremely annoying, difficult, or the like; straining one’s patience and goodwill to the limit: a trying day; a trying experience.

Its funny, because this definition of Trying somewhat describes my exact sentiments when certain people including myself have used the phrase “I’m trying to.." in the past.

However, the Trying definition that is probably most valid for this blog entry is, to attempt to do or accomplish.  Unfortunately I have found more often than not that when this term is used nowadays usually the exact opposite is happening.

How many times have you heard, “I”m trying to start my own business.”  “I’m trying to become a designer.” or  “I’m trying to save money.” How often have you said something similar about yourself?

The more I heard, “I”m trying to…”, the less I began to see the actual doings of these actions that people were trying to do.  That was when I looked up the word Do.  The definitions describing the word Do, were so much more vibrant and exciting, something to shout about such as, to perform, to execute, to accomplish, finish, complete, to put forth; exert: Do your best.

I began to think about the inquiry that usually begets the phrase, “I’m trying to…”  It is usually the question, “What are you doing? or maybe “How are you doing?” So why not answer with what you are actually doing, not what you are trying to do?

Stop trying and begin doing, and you will see your accomplishments begin to add up right before your eyes. In the end there are many things you have to try, and many people have given and received the E for Effort award.  But its what you Do that will put a stamp on who you are, and if you are in the act of trying to become somebody greater than you are today, then the most fitting question would be what are you doing today that signifies who you are trying to become tomorrow?

Here is a great example of someone becoming a lawyer, who may have said, “I’m trying to become a lawyer.” A more fitting answer of one’s journey to become a lawyer could very well be, “I”m studying for the Bar exam. I just passed the test and will start law school in the fall.  I’m searching for a law firm daily.  The list can go on and on as you continue to progress.

So when weighing the phrase, “I’m trying to…” I truly believe it to be a phrase that should remain a Blip on the Radar, because Doing is so much more fun and you get so much more accomplished.

Weighing the phrase “I’m trying to…”
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 200 lbs

Weighing My Weight

Self assessment isn’t the easiest thing to do. However, the process can be very therapeutic, and is a necessary step when trying to grow progressively. When I look at Jamees Wright, who do I see?
Sigh! Over the years, I have grown to accept some of the harsh realities of the makeup of Jamees Wright. And they are as follows, Bubbly! It’s a very sad day when you wake up and find out people think of you as bubbly. But hey that’s me.

Corny, hmmm I still think that is debatable, but I can see it...sometimes, but I do believe this trait is mostly demonstrated in a refreshing way that can make you laugh. Naïve, is one that I’m working on, and I hoped to have sharpened my eye.

However, the Jamees traits that began the thoughts on this blog and the What Women Weigh website, is Jamees the analyzer, debater, the motivator and yes I can admit it, the dramatizer.

It all began with this quote, “Never ask a woman her weight.” It bugged me, and on further research, I found that if you Google that quote, you will find various entries advising to never ask a women her weight. I thought it preposterous!

Most of the times when I tell people what I weigh they are blown away, mostly because I have always weighed a lot more than I appeared to. This helped me to realize early on that my weight measured in pounds did not actually mean anything. Taking it a step further, I find it hard to believe that a measured pound can really define anybody inside and out, which is why I threw out the old bathroom scale along with the bland numerical answer of my weight.

The definition of weight from dictionary.com that this blog will focus on is the ability to evaluate in the mind and consider carefully arriving at an opinion, using importance, moment, consequence, or effective influence to form a weighted opinion. All women have the capacity to possess this, so why shy away from the question, “What do you weigh?”

I would simply, smile bubbly, front my naiveté, and tell them my opinion. Many may think that to be corny, but I am Jamees Wright, I am a woman, and my opinion weighs a ton.
Women of the world I encourage you to throw your weight around!

Weighing My Weight
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 1 Ton

Weighing a Balanced Life

In elementary school, our teachers would extend a platform for a guess to periodically share their specialty with the class. Sometimes the sessions were interesting, and other times their best purpose was to break the monotony of the day.

However, there was one specific session that I remember clearly. It was the third grade, and a red headed woman would periodically come to our class to discuss poetry. I don’t remember any of the off beat poems that she would read to the class. What I do remember, other than her manic red hair and wardrobe my classmates would always talk about after her departure was a discussion she led about the stages of life.

She said in our youth, we are carefree and invincible but in our mid to late twenties we would begin to think about our deaths. I can't explain her need to share this with a third grade class or whether there was an absolute truth to her proclamation.

I do know because of her influence, I began to think about death in the third grade, and I was no longer invincible. Thoughts of death followed me for a couple of years. I even wrote a poem called 10 Seconds to My Death in the 8^th grade!

Though my thoughts on death have stayed with me, time has allowed me to flip its connotation.     Now when I think about death I also think about life. I believe death is a hard reality that is made more accepting when living life to the fullest and for me that includes striving to live a balanced life.

A balanced life for me includes five factors the first three include stimulating my heart, taking care of my body,and feeding my soul.

The heart is stimulated by spending time with my loved ones, delivering a kind act, and putting someone else before me. I have learned that I must actively work to sustain the relationships that I hold dear, and if I keep my heart pure I can embrace serenity. The heart is the home and the place where I may always find me.

Taking care of the body can be a tough one, but is well worth the effort. It includes exercise and nutrition. Exercise may not always be fun, but I usually find something that I like and stick with it. Whether it is dancing or walking, palates,or my favorite sports, I can find exercise in my weekly routine. I also enjoy the luxuries of a great tasting treat, it’s all about quantity. Not over doing it, just a taste and mix it with the nutrients needed. My body is my temple, and you only get one. And so I try my best to work to take care of it.

How does one feed their soul, and why is it important? Dictionary.com defines the soul as the principle of life. So seeking out the answers to the questions that will enlighten me of the way I should live my life serves as food for my soul. Questions like the following: What do I live for? Where do I draw my inspiration? What is my code of ethics? What do I believe in? I spend some time reflecting upon and learning the studies that will keep me grounded and structures my path in life.

The last two of the five factors is a balance between ambition and relaxation.

To live a balanced life ambition must be a part of it. Ambition encompasses creating life goals. Learning who I want to be, and taking the steps to get there. I ask the questions what is my contribution to society, what will be my life's work? What possessions do I wish to own? How do I plan to leave my mark? Ambition for me includes a passion to continually grow and the will power to do so.

Last but certainly not least is relaxation. There should always be time to unwind. Reading a good book, taking a stroll, shopping, everyone relaxes differently. It is my time to do as I please. One of my life goals is to continually make time to travel and to see the world while exploring various cultures. Relaxation also includes my leisure activities and hobbies. I believe if I fully extend myself with the other four factors of life, the treasured moments of relaxation are valued and well deserved.

Striving to live a balanced life is my goal. It is how I feel that I can become the best me. This blog will be centered on my quest and the quest of others to live a balanced life.

Weighing in on a balanced life, I give it a full Ton. It’s a priority.

Weighing a Balanced Life
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 1 Ton