Weighing Setting Precedence

Sometimes your hearts desire to help someone can turn into you shaking your head, distraught, used and abused, and wondering how did I get duped?  You may have set out to do the right thing, to help someone while the recipient has set out to take advantage. You thought you covered all the angles, but then you find yourself saying, if I could do it all over I would do things differently. You continuously shake your head in dismay and say how did I let this happen? 

This feeling is not about regret because your intentions were in the right place, and I don't believe you should ever regret trying to be helpful.  It is more about realizing you went about things the wrong way. Many times this may simply be because you didn't have a plan to start out with.   You never focused on the order of things. You didn't begin with Setting Precedence.

What does it mean to Set Precedence? I love the very first definition of Set in dictionary.com which is to put (something or someone) in a particular place. Furthermore, the initial definition of Precede to go before, as in place, order, rank, importance or time, which you must do when Setting Precedence. 

What does the collaboration of these words mean to me? It means that when you Set Precedence within your life you are acknowledging that you have the ability to set up your life. You create the order of importance. If you can Set the Precedence, then it is you who must own the first ranking. You are the primary and everything else is secondary. The best way to help someone is by maintaining your position to be able to help.

If we begin to think of ourselves first we will also realize what might not be in our best interest.  How will this affect me? If I don't like it, well then maybe it is time to make some adjustments. Another definition of Set  used mostly in the theater, is to arrange the scenery.  If we are the directors of our very own reality show then it is true that we can also control the scenery.  If something is out of place fix it, if something is causing your scenery to become unattractive eliminate it.

Clearly stating what you are offering is also helpful. You may offer someone your last hot dog off your plate, and the next thing you know they have your fries and your drink as well.  Guess what, now you don't have lunch.  It is okay to sacrifice sometimes, but remember you also have to eat. To avoid this, make sure to demonstrate your Set Precedence clearly, be it by voice, in an email whichever way you can communicate your plan.  To Precede has an additional meaning which is to introduce by something preliminary.  A simple statement like, "I can help and here's how I can do it..." state clearly what you are offering so there is no confusion at a later date. 

Many people may talk behind your back when you do this, they may say "He/She didn't really want to help. They named set stipulations before helping me." These are most likely the ones who have their own "goals" in mind.  A good example of this would be people who prefer to offer a homeless person food instead of money. I have personally witnessed a beggar stating they are hungry only to deny a fresh apple or sandwich, which can lead one to believe they were begging  for reasons other than hunger.

I am drawn to helping others. However, sadly I have experienced lending a helping hand which some how led to my arms, legs and neck as well. To avoid being eaten alive, I suggest Setting Precedence. It's Important.

Weighing Setting Precedence
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 800 lbs Important

Weighing The Duchess

Last weekend I was at home on a Sunday night I was in the mood for a real movie, what I mean by that is one that I could stick my teeth in.  A story that would create great thought and intrigue and allow input in my assessments of life.  Sometimes when you look, you get exactly what you are looking for, I came across The Duchess.

The actors I recognized right away were Keira Knightley and Ralph Fiennes, so I immediately knew the movie would be well acted.  The paragraph describing the movie on Verizon Demand stated: A chronicle of the life of 18th century aristocrat Georgiana Duchess of Devonshire, who was reviled for her extravagant political and personal life.

Though the description implied that the story would be tragic, I proceeded to watch through the eyes of a person who has watched a million plus Hollywood movies where they were able to spin even biographies with tragic endings so that the life lived satisfied the end.

This was the wrong perception to have for this movie, because as the story unfolded and I viewed The Duchess being placed in the hands of man she didn't love and didn't love her, as I observed her effort to provide her husband with a male heir all the while her husband bedded various women he came across with the physique he truly desired, and as I solemnly took in her awakening of true love only to curve it whilst remaining in a loveless marriage for her children...the time ticked by and I began to realize there would be no redemption to this story.

However in hindsight I have come to realize there has been redemption and there can continue to be redemption for The Duchess and those who share a similar story.  When we as women take hold of our new found strength to maneuver, freedom of choice and voice to state what we want and need and place these yearnings into fruition and finally the option to not back ourselves into a life not wanted.  To keep the redemption going we can also raise beautiful women to do the same and encourage our friends and every other woman walking this earth to do the same.

Though this movie as a whole will always remain imprinted in my mind, there was one moment that stood out the most.  The Duchess was wearing one of her extravagant attires on the night of their wedding.  As he quietly undressed her without permission or warning, he commented, "For the life of  me, I can never understand why women's clothes need to be so damn complicated?" The Duchess responded though his comment might have been rhetorical, "Its our way of expressing ourselves I suppose."  Of course he did not understand this and asked, "Whatever do you mean?" She answered, "Well you have so many ways of expressing yourselves, whereas we have to make do with our hats and our dresses."

Well women of the world we still have our hats and our dresses but we have so much more available to us. This August marked the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. constitution which granted women the right to vote nationwide.  Progression was not so long ago, and it's up to us to continually use everything we have to make our marks and live our lives to the fullest.  Let us not forget where we came from because it helps to steer us in the direction of where we are going.

In weighing The Duchess, I give it 600lbs, though very depressing as I left out a lot which may cause you to repel. I still would say at least one view is most definitely a good decision and may help to serve as a constant reminder of how precious the liberties we have today would have been to a woman of the past.

Weighing The Duchess
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 600 lbs Good Decision

Weighing Choices

In a world of change, discovery and extreme variety we as humans come across Choices on a daily basis. Simple choices like what to eat, what to wear or maybe what to watch on television on a given night. Life changing choices such as where to live, who to love, or the choice of occupation. Let me back up here because sometimes your choice on what to eat, wear or watch on television at night can become life changing depending on your given situation.

But this entry is more about the most common life changing choices that we come across. A Choice is defined in dictionary.com as an act or instance of choosing, the right, power, opportunity to choose; the option.  If you have ever felt down, perhaps helpless did you use your right, power or opportunity to choose a different scenario for yourself? Have you realized you have the option to do so?

A choice is also defined as an alternative, an abundance of variety from which to choose. Speaking from my own experiences I believe sometimes variety can be scary, sometimes the alternative is not as good as what you have been doing. But that is all fine and dandy as long as the status quo satisfies you, and if not well maybe its time to shop around.

A choice is also something that is preferred or preferable to others; the best part of something. If you're lucky to find your preference at your first job or living where you grew up; I say great for you. But if not, don't be afraid to find out if you have the preferred, the best for you, by moving to a new location, trying a new hobby,  or perhaps start with spaghetti with three cheeses instead of just the one.

I believe the most important definitions of Choice are; a carefully selected supply, worthy of being chosen, carefully selected. If I learned anything about choices, it is that each one you make there is always another side, a choice not chosen. When we dwell on the choices we didn't make it can often lead to regret. However if we make careful selections and make a point to remember the reasons for the chosen you may realize that you have made the right choice.

Choices have a weight of about 800 lbs because they are important but are not the priority. I believe enjoying the choices you make, learning from them, and preparing for the next choices are the priorities in life.

Weighing Choices
Submitted by: Jamees Wright
Weight Total: 800 lbs Important